Sunday, November 15, 2015

To The City of Lights.

Nos coeurs et nos prieres sont avec vous, en Paris.

Dear Paris, 
I have never walked on your streets,
I have never seen your sparkling lights.
I have not kissed someone under your famed tower.
But my heart is with your people.
My prayers are sent to Heaven on your behalf.
May God heal you from this brutality
May you smile and laugh and love again... and soon.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Arm Yourselves!

You know what's cool? October. October is cool, as in cold. As in it's been unusually cold here this October in the deep south. At least, it has been for the last week. I won't lie, I can deal with the cold, but I don't like to, and winter is coming. 

This isn't about you, Ned!

I prefer to deal with winter by being tucked up next to my fireplace with a book in my hand and covered by a million pounds of blankets. Now, what do you do if you don't have a fireplace or a million pounds of blankets?

You probably die of hypothermia.

However, I've found something that might see you through this dark and unforgiving season, and it will only take you 45 minutes to make it.

How to Arm Knit a Blanket in 45 Minutes!

How to Arm Knit a Blanket in 45 Minutes!

Simply Maggie brings us this tutorial and photos.

Friday, July 31, 2015

Wigging Out!
  Yarn. YARN, y'all. Did you know y'arn can make awesome wigs? I didn't, but now I do. Those dreads, wool yarn- brushed and locked. I also want that hoodie like headpiece. Everything about this is my favorite, the color, the texture, the tiny antlers. It's got a modern Daenerys Targaryen kind of vibe to it. 

Jean Barthet by Roland Bianchini
Jean Barthet by Roland Bianchini
And let's not forget un-brushed yarn. Little Orphan Annie meets Raggedy Anne. It's also like some kind of lady Simba tribute. *cue circle of life*

Via Artstring
It's obviously not hair, but somehow, it still works. I'm a fan of the colors. I feel like this would own at Ren Faire, maybe add a few tingling bells.
  Daenerys Targaryen you sure are getting around these days. Another cool un-brushed look, just thick, unraveled strands. I could totally ride dragons in this.

  Here's a classic with a chunky yarn. Your kid is basically a living doll with this mop top. Just look at that wig with the little bangs and the bows! Too sweet!

It seriously blows my mind that this is YARN. It's so soft and pretty and looks so much like cotton candy hair. I know it's a doll's head, but I want this for me. FOR ME. Also, cotton candy. I feel like that should also be in my life.

"Yo, Ariel, I'm really happy for you, I'ma let you finish, but Doll head had one of the best mermaid hairs of all time! One of the best mermaid hairs of all time!" Seriously, how perfectly mermaidy is this wig? 

I am amazed at you crafty crafters.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

May The Force Be Knit You...


So, I'm pretty pumped about the new Star Wars movie. I've loved Star Wars ever since I was a little girl. I was hooked from the first time I saw it. I want to knit with tiny little Lightsabers! Who wouldn't want to knit with tiny little Lightsabers?! I didn't even know this was a thing, but apparently a lot of nerdy crafters do, and the force is strong with them.

 "Luminous beings we are, not this crude matter."

 "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."
 That pretty much describes me trying to knit anything other than a straight line. (Scarves for daaaaays.) 
We all know that red lightsabers lead to trouble. 
Available from: Craftynara 
“Knitting, crochet, it matter not. Look at them. Judge me by my tools, do you?" Hmm? Hmm?" You can probably feel the force flowing through you as you use these hooks and needles! Once again, there's some dark side knitting taking place place. Apparently crochet brings balance to the force. 

And what exactly do you make with these tools of the Rebellion and the Empire? 

Redditor imnojezus’ coworker made this unbelievably impressive homage to Luke Skywalker's favorite Wampa. This is the best Star Wars Christmas special since... the Star Wars Christmas special.

Howling Ewok Sweater
Or maybe something like this Howling Ewok Sweater with this kickin' AT-AT theme. Again with the red lightsaber!? Apparently we crafty type are Empire loyal.

See? Even the Stormtroopers are doing it.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Can't Knit? Don't Sweat It!

22. Bookmark
Just because you can't knit or crochet doesn't mean you have to pass the yarn isle with your head held in shame. Well, I'm here to tell you, don't despair! There are plenty of awesome yarn related crafts you can make without ever picking up a hook or pair of needles. These little pompom bookmarks are super adorable, and easy to make. 

You could also make some pretty jewelry! You could wrap some old bangles and give them new life, or start from scratch. You could use a few pipe cleaners twisted together and then wrap yarn (or embroidery floss) around them, or even an old glow band that's lost its glow in the dark charm. 

Nobody sending you flowers? Make your own! Those pompoms are popular. They're super cute and they'll last forever! You can make them in any color and in a variety of sizes. 

And we are back to jewelry! You can make some pretty cool felt beads from wool yarn. You can use those beads to make necklaces, bracelets, pin cushions, or cat toys 

Easy Yarn Crafts: Creative Ways to Use Yarn Without Knitting or CrochetingEasy Yarn Crafts: Creative Ways to Use Yarn Without Knitting or Crocheting
How about some beautiful artisan frames or lampshades? You could easily brighten up a room with a little bit of yarn wrapping. Get an anthro feel on a budget!
Finger Knitting Tutorial and easy Valentines Day Ideas
If you do want to do a little knitting but you're still intimidated by the idea. Start of with a little finger knitting. You will always have your tools on hand (that's right. I did that.) and it's pretty simple. Use some chunky yarn for a really pretty stocking stitch. You'll have a new scarf in no time!

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Skein and Bone

Knit Fast Die Warm.
Skein Deep  was my first post about knitting themed tattoos. And now, I bring you my second. These are hard core and full of color and emblazoned with the mantra to "Knit Fast, Die Warm."
 The skulls are an ever present icon.
Don't think I forgot about you hookers... er... that's not... how I meant that! You, ah, crochet enthusiasts!
A little variation on the theme, and a super realistic skull.

I can feel those needles in the skin, and I can barely type this because NEEDLES IN THE SKIN.

Knit fast Die Warm by Lisa Murphy
Nice use of pink brain yarn. 
 I'll be posting another tattoo themed post soon. There are so many, SO MANY awesome designs out there. If you have one, comment!

Monday, June 29, 2015

These Will Keep You In Stitches...Plus, I rap!




 The Stitch Life
 "Stacks on stacks. 
Stacks on stacks.
Uh huh.
Stacks on stacks, 
Yeah, I got that."

*drops the beat*

 "Stacks on stacks I said
Stacks on stacks on stack of thread
My needles they flyin'
My phrases, they buyin'
They be ballin' like Kim K
and written like Kanye
I be livin' that hoop life 
Stitch like I'm a good wife
I got dem skills like ya grandma
but I'm bankin' like Trump, ya
Got them framed like a heirloom
all up in the bathroom.
I'm a needlepoint boss y'all
Hang my rhymes on ya hall wall 
Keep ya 'Yonce and Yeezus your Whiz and ya Wheezy
I can spit my own rhymes, but stitchin' aint easy"
 You do you, Tina. You do you.

 No treble. 

PATTERN Nope Subversive Funny Cross Stitch Instant Download .PDF 
Look at all the nopes I have to give!
"Hey, can you..."
"Hey, you wanna..."
Nope. Nope.
"I think we should..."
Nope. Nope. Nopity. Nope.

And finally, Bill Murray. Because, Bill Murray.

Sunday, June 21, 2015


Ladies and gentlemen, boys & girls, children of all ages! Come and see the greatest show on earth! Tonight, in the center ring, I bring you a sight sure to amaze you, dazzle your senses, and leave you speechless in wonderment! Sadly, I cannot claim to be the discoverer of such a magnificent spectacle, but I would be remiss, nay criminal even, if I did not share with you these things. So, fair audience, prepare to be amazed, prepare to click the link, prepare for MAGIC!

has brought to us a glorious pageant of color and texture! Behold the link above and click! You will be transported to a land of fantasy beyond your wildest imaginings, for this is only a taste of the marvels you will find!
What's more, dear people, you can own them for yourselves! Who can hold the stars in their hands? Who can catch lightning in jar? Who, I ask you, can lasso the wind like a wild steed? YOU! My friends, when you gird your loins with such majesty!

Size 32 Felted Wool Chevron Rainbow Disco Pants

 Fluorescent Chevron Crochet Longboard Shorts
"Schuyler Ellers, who runs the Lord von Schmitt Etsy shop, creates dazzlingly colorful patterned crochet shorts out of recycled materials that are sure to please both the wearer and their stunned beholders (man or woman)." Davos of Bored Panda

Don't believe me for my words those of you who gather here! Believe your own eyes, even if what you behold is UNBELIEVABLE! 

Friday, June 19, 2015

Been Missin' You...

I miss you. I know I don't write often, and I never call or text, but baby, I think about you ALL. THE. TIME. You'll always be my boo. You're the blog that broke my heart and then wrapped it in a hideous sweater of love. I'll never let you go, no matter how long we go without seeing each other.

I brought you some gifts, you know, 'cause I didn't want to show up empty handed...

Knitted leotard: 

It's summer and I just want to cozy up to you in the pool, but also be separated from you by literally POUNDS AND POUNDS of wool. It's just like our relationship, so close, and yet... so far away.

Get naked.

I mean, I just want to hang out with you again, like we did in the old days. Remember, I'd write funny things, and you'd ask me for a picture of a lady knitting herself into a giant sleeve? Those were the good times, just a woman alone with her blog. Add a salad, it would be the perfect night.


Or maybe we could go out, hit up the coffee shop and chat. I've got the perfect outfit. I can get one for you too, so people know we're together.

Men's crochet outfit | Mollie Makes
Like these best friends. 

Compubody sock, computer hood, Becky Stern, instructables, knitting
Let's never be apart again.