Each one of the following sweaters is one that I have in my own collection. Some I've made, some I've thrifted, some I've had since I was a child, and some, were passed down from mother to daughter in the time honored tradition of tackiness.
Tacky Sweater Bunko 2010
I feel like this is my magnum opus. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to top it really. The "Living Christmas Tree" literally made jaws drop when I walked in the door for Bunko. My friend Gina put it best, "Liz...LIZ!" It was a lot of fun to make and fairly simple at that. I think the tree skirt really sets off the whole look.
Tacky Sweater Ornament Exchange 2010
I picked this one up at the local thrift store for two bucks. Santa has no face. Well, actually, he has what I assume might be eyes up in the brim of his hat, but if you're looking for a nose or a mouth, you're out of luck. No big deal though, I mean, the kids don't mind that, right? See, just change a few words and you're all good!
♫ ♪ Faceless Claus is coming to town! ♪ ♫
Tacky Sweater Ornament Exchange 2009
I'm going to quote from my personal blog for this one, because really, it tells the whole story.
Here I am at Pine Hill [Tree Farm], in the store. It's wonderfully decorated...much like myself. Speaking of that, I actually made this sweater. It used to live a lonely and boring life at the thrift store, but I rescued it from its sad mediocrity...and let me tell you, ladies of a certain age LOVE. IT.
I was asked several times if I purchased it at Macy's. Macy's! Holding back my laughter, which took, trust me, a Herculean effort, I explained that I actually made it myself. After much 'ooing' and 'ahhing,' I was told I should go sell them at, again, Macy's. Last time I checked, Macy's didn't buy its stock from some chick with a box of sweaters in the back of her Hyundai, but hey, if I want to sell them 'at' Macy's, that parking lot is fair game baby.
Tacky Sweater Ornament Exchange 2008
The skiing penguin... what more do I need to say?
Every Christmas as a child
Ah, the memories. This one is from my elementary school days...and yes, I can still wear it, as illustrated by this awkward self portrait. It's not a true sweater, but I think the tackiness comes through in spades. It's fond memories for sure. Now, since I have no shame, I'll let you know that during the holidays, I sleep in this from time to time, paired with candy cane striped flannel pants...
Treasures from Mom
...Speaking of striped pants, here they are. Never let it be said that I'm a girl who is afraid to post an unflattering picture of herself online. Mom used to wear this sweater during the Christmas season, and really, the only reason she doesn't now is because she lost some weight and it's too big, but I can still see the love for it in her eyes.
Anyway, that's my collection, or at least what I wasn't too lazy to look for. From year to year it always provides a laugh to pull them out of the box, and I've even loaned them out to friends and family for various events. You really can make one for yourself pretty easily though. A few creatively placed items go a long way.
Still, my best advice when it comes to picking a tacky Christmas sweater? Know how to accessorise.