I'VE DONE MY WAITING! 12 YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN!
Wait... wait... that's Sirius Black, not me. Still, I've done my waiting too, many, many years of it, as have most of us. I have fond memories of the kids' table though, surrounded by cousins, telling stories, arguing about cartoon shows like adults do about politics, and eating home-cooked goodness until we almost vomited. ('Murica) However, I can proudly say I've been promoted from the kids table. That's right, now, I proudly sit at the "you're still single at your age?" table, and that's GOT to count for something.
And now that I am in that stage of life, spinsterhood, I feel like I can probably get away with wearing classic Thanksgiving gems like this little number. Just look at those zazzy turkeys! Nothing says "I don't plan on having a boyfriend for the holidays or ever" quite like a checker-blocked cardigan riddled, yes, riddled, with festively feathered fowl.
Of course, there's also this. I bet it says something like "I'm 'Beary' Thankful" or "Don't Forget The 'Cranbeary' Sauce" on the back. It also says "Keep on moving, hottie. I can't 'bear' the thought of a relationship."
Or maybe this one. I mean, if you're going to give up, give up big... don't even get the bird right. Chickens? Sure, why not?
BUT WAIT! WHAT'S THIS?! A man that shares my affinity for thankfulness, sass, and sweaters?! Well, just look at that delightfully awkward beefcake! I don't see a ring on that finger, sweetcheeks... maybe there's hope to move on from the "why are you ***always*** single?" table yet! Maybe someday our paths will cross. One can only hope! Who knows, perhaps I might even find him on Knit Together!
***Emphasis added for a more realistic experience***