Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Go BIG or Go HOME


I live in America. 'MURICA. We like things BIG. We super-size every thing: meals, houses, cars, waistlines, even problems. (ACA...)You name it; we like it with two heaping scoops of extra ginormous. However, we don't have a monopoly hugeness. Imagine my surprise when I found that little infographic up top there. When it comes to sweaters of unusual size or SOUSes, I didn't even think they existed, until I was attacked by one in the Fire Swamp. 

I couldn't find an image of the giant UK sweater, so I give you this one from New Zealand! It only makes sense really, given their world- renowned, high-quality wool, that they'd put it to good use, such as knitting a sweater no one could ever actually wear. NZ, I like it. I like your offbeat sense of humor, your easygoing attitude, and your plentiful hobbits. You could probably clothe the whole population of the Shire with that one garment.

 Oh China, you put in an excellent effort, but I'm afraid you're taking bronze in the Sweaterlympics. Turkey's put us all to shame, and we here in the US didn't even place! Here's to better luck in the floor exercises.

This sweater bears an uncanny resemblance to Big Foot, as in it was ridiculously difficult to find pictures, and what I did find was small, blurry, and couldn't be trusted to not just be some guy in a gorilla suit or in this case, a close up of a Seurat painting. Oh Peru, you and your wealth of mysteries- ancient, creepy mummies, crystal skulls, giant pixelated sweaters...

I guess that is one way to save on the heating bills. Turkey, you've outdone yourself. You've outdone everyone, actually. That is by far the biggest sweater I've ever seen, and I've been to an American Wal-Mart! Congratulations. You've done your country proud.

And now... for something completely different.


 "Aaaaaaaaas yooooouuuu wiiiiiiiiiish!"

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