Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Men of Christmas...

Check out this sexy beast... and yes, I'm talkin' 'bout that sweata! That's enough knitwear for 3-4 male fashion models. Plus, it's got those reindeer that look like they've had an encounter with a nuclear explosion... so cool! I wonder how much this thing weighs? It's probably collapsing this poor guy's spinal column even as we speak! Speaking of collapsing, I'd like you all to know that I've got a terrible case or walking pneumonia. (Walking my butt.) I just got back from the doctor, where I was given two shots, filled with what I can only assume was liquid fire and hot nails. That's all kind of irrelevant, but I just thought you'd like to know that if this blog post is a little loopsy it's because I just added a percocet to the mix. Why would I do that? Because I'm in incredible pain. I had no idea Pneumonia made you feel like someone was trying to smash an ax into your... everything. And I shouldn't even be on the internets right now, but oh well! Sleep isn't happening, and if I'm just sitting here, I focus on how  bad I feel, so instead, I'm just going to write about stuff, and browse 9gag like a boss.

What really draws the eye on this one are the gingerbread nip covers. Yaeh, I just said that. I like the fact that this guy totally made this holiday monstrosity, and he's just like "I do what I want." It's got everything you could want... bells, presents, a tree, beads, a duck dynasty beginner beard, and a Star Trek reference...

Clearly, this guy is number 1.

This sweater is made out of garland... like, wow. It's definitely the very definition of an ugly Christmas sweater, which means it's incredible. I can't even begin to wonder how itchy that thing is. Plus you know he makes that swishy wishy sound when he moves. Seriously though, I think I'm having empathetic discomfort... or it's jut that Pneumonia again. Still, I like a man that shuns his personal comfort in the name of comedy. Well done sir. Well done.

But then there's this guy... who wins for life. You just can't beat a Christmas sweater carved out of your own chest hair. No Shave November? Psh. Merry Chestmas and Happy Hairydays!

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