Friday, September 21, 2012

Cats, Cats, and MORE Cats!

 "20 delightfully feline designs for handknitters." 
Twenty. I mean, why bother with twenty when you've clearly hit it out of the park with ol' number one up there? Cats themselves are beautiful creatures- lithe, graceful, proud, and sleek. This is... not that. That cat is not OK. Something is wrong, badly wrong with him! He looks like he's got a case of the gurgles, and that garden's about to face some hard times. This is one of those articles of clothing that you just kind of stare at, trying to figure out who on earth it was meant for. I'll tell you who it wasn't meant for- anyone. It especially wasn't meant for a young woman. Judging by the model's hair and jewelry, she's about to wear that over sized cat poncho to special occasion, possibly some society gala or, let's hope, a first date. Nothing sparks a dinner conversation like your awkward and ill-proportioned cat covered clothing!

Let's move on to bachelorette number 2.

First of all... what? Secondly, that cat looks so amused!

I'd like to imagine the conversation leading to this design went something like this:

"I've got a GREAT idea for a new cat sweater."

"Oh? Let's hear it!"

"OK, well, I want the cat to be just kind of hanging over the wearer, like if you just took a cat and punched a hole right in the middle of it and draped it over your head it would look  just. like. that.  Minus the horrific mess of course."

"I'm liking it, but I feel like it needs more."

"How about some three dimensional ears?"


"Let's place them awkwardly over a boob."

"Brilliant! You've done it again! This ranks right up there with your cat in the garden design!"

Crazy cat lady, the training years.
I think the following accurately describes my reaction.

Daddy still thinks she's his sweet, innocent princess, but those eyes say otherwise.

Much like this entire ensemble. There is nothing innocent about that shirt tug, those hole riddled short shorts, and of course, that demon cat. Hipster is a heart breaker.

This however, is innocent... and incredible. When I was that age, don't think I didn't own a cat sweater or two. Oh yeah, and mine had GLITTER THREAD. (Thanks 80s, for being the best decade!) What's so great about these is that they're completely horrible, but when you're a kid, you're like 'AHHHH KITTIES!!!!" I mean, look at that brown sleeve cat. It's like a cracked out monkey weasel, but that kid is stoked to be wearin' it.

"Puuurfect, puuuurfect! Now, sing me Soft Kitty!"

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