Friday, August 10, 2012

Hooked on Famous Faces...

"Sheldon, it's a doll of you! Isn't that remarkable?!"

"No. Higgs Boson is remarkable.This is merely amusing."

"Sheldon, don't be like that. Surely you must be flattered that artist Jackie created such an adorable likeness of you."

"Well of course I'm flattered, even if it is terribly disproportionate."

"It's supposed to look like that Sheldon. That's why it's cute. The artist is interpenetrating your image."  

"Artistic license is no excuse for scientific inaccuracy."

"Sheldon, you're impossible."

"Hokum. I'm standing right here."

Someone who reads this and actually knows Ellen, or "knows" Ellen, like through a friend of her cousin's best friend's sister or something, show her this. She'll love it. I love it. It's adorable. Now if only there was a tiny Sophia Vergara doll for her to interview.

"Hellen, es sooo ghud to seh yoo hagahin!"
"I... what?"
"Es woondherfool to seh yoo! Es been sooo lhong shense weave cotton togethar."
"I really can't understand you at all you...crazy Colombian."
"Oh, Hellen. I knohwj. I thing meh hanglish es akshually getting whorse the lahhongar ayeve an hein hamereicaa."

*Ellen Face*


"FACT.  Allison Hoffman  creates finely crafted dolls of well known television and movie characters. FACT. Dwight Schrute is the most popular prime time character to have appeared on television in the last 50 years."

"Dwight, I don't think that's actually true."

" FACT. All of my facts are 100% correct and accurate, as they have been thoroughly researched and reviewed by a panel of experts in both handicraft and pop culture."

"Dwight, do you mean yourself and Mose?"

"That is irrelevant."

*Stares at camera a la Halpert.*

  "Did Jim put you up to this? Jim put you up to this. I'm putting you on my list. FACT."


"Jamie, have you ever given any thought to Voodoo?

"You mean the pseudo-religious, black magical practice that involves such things as doll analog to inflict pain or trauma upon a living individual?"


"I don't give it much credence, but I guess we could put the myth to the test."

"I'll grab the needles."

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