Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Just Eat It!

FWF... what is FWF, you ask? Why, it's simple. FWF simply stands for "food with faces,"  and it's popular. Beleive me, it's really popular. I myself own several t-shirts with kawaii food items just living it up. I've even bought some for friends. Who wouldn't enjoy a t-shirt emblazoned with a happy cookie holding hands with a carton of milk? Cookie loves milk you know. One of my personal favorites, the food pyramid, shows a bunch of peppy, athletic foods stacking themselves up like edible cheerleaders. What's not to love?

Nothing. That's what.

But here... here's something different. It's meatloaf, and meatloaf doesn't look too happy. I dare say meatloaf looks downright bereft. It's a solid, scientifically proven* fact that meatloaf is known to suffer from social anxiety and drepression more than any other loaf based food. Some might argue that this is actually a sadsack Salisbury Steak, but no, there's no savory gravy there, there's no saucy accent. No, there's just sadness.

Daily Pics
Unlike meatloaf, the pickle pals here, seem perfectly content to spend their lives cooped up in a jar. Either that, or they're all high off the brine.

This is without a doubt, the world's most contented burger.

Of course, like meatloaf, there are other foods out there that might benefit from a dose of zoloft.
This banana peel just isn't feeling fulfilled anymore. It's like he's missing something, like his reason for being is gone, like he's... he's... nothing more than an empty peel. 

Jayne's Kitchen
 Bear cupcakes. They're sweet, like "welcome to the diabeetus" sweet. All colors, all flavors, all adorable.

And now, because Weird Al is never wrong, and because it's relevant and makes me laugh, a little "Eat It."

*98% of all scientific facts that appear on THE UGLY SWEATER are made up on the spot, much like the 100% of the statistics.

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