Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A Warm Fuzzy Feeling...

I don't know a single woman that hasn't at some point said "Cookie Monster has such gorgeous fur...if only there was a way I could have some tight fitting footsie trousers that could make me feel like a fluffy blue Muppet."
"And heaven forbid I'm not able to find a matching top!" Thankfully, both are available, and your desire to look like the much beloved, sweets binging monster can be fulfilled. Because there's nothing more awesome than an outfit that adds 20lbs to your calves alone!

This is definitely the most tame item on today's menu, but normal it ain't! I think, were I to wear this, I would feel like I was being swallowed by a big, soft esophagus. Either that, or like I was stuck in the middle of the world's largest, coziest wad of gum. Not only that, but the weight of the cowl neck on this thing is probably crushing her vertebrae and sternum simultaneously. 

Finally. FINALLY! We have proof that the Abominable Snowman or "Yeti" actually exists! ...And apparently lives in suburbia.

What I like about this is that it's kind of like a big, fuzzy onsie. I bet you could hang out where thewild things are and none of the wild things would be the wiser. However, being as it's still kind of the Christmas season, all my mind can think of is how awesome this would be if you removed the wonky bows and that big collar and made the thing out of green furry yarn... because that'd make one heck of a Grinch suit. Chair of Cheer? You'd ride that thing from here to eternity!

Sweet merciful crap! That's a face full of warm fuzzy right there, and yeah, I'm scared. I'm scared for a lot of reasons. Why...why... would you need this, or want this? I'm afraid  the answer probably involves a disclaimer along the lines of "safety word recommended."

Sometimes, Mother Nature herself likes to get in on the business of fuzzy sweaters, and boy does she do a stellar job! Somewhere, I think Robin Williams is looking at this guy and shaking his head approvingly. Personally, I don't mind a little chest hair, but I don't want my guy to be able to double as a bearskin rug. 

And now for something completely different...

A little note about something not so warm and fuzzy... I've added the moderation function to comments... at least for a while. I'm afraid one sour grape is trying to spoil the bunch. You see, I make fun of things on this blog, but it's always with a spirit of lighthearted humor. Sometimes things are meant to be laughed at, and I include myself in that category, as is clearly seen in many of my posts. If you crochet crazy hot pants for men, I include you too... but it's not because you're not talented as all get out. It's because I'm finding a bit of joy in what you're making, and I think it's great that there are people who create such wonderfully wacky items. More power to all of you. 

However, if you feel the need to insult this blog or me because you don't like it, then my advice is don't read it. I'm not forcing you to, and honestly, I don't want you to. You're not enjoying it, and that's why I write it... because it's enjoyable to me, and because others seem to find it enjoyable... so go do something you like to do. Life is too short to waste your time commenting on a blog you find so offensive. 

Seriously. 

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