Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Gobble Them Up!

You're getting a post about turkeys today. Yes, it is because it's the Thanksgiving season here in the states. It's also because I'm starving, and I can smell the food that someone is heating up down the hall. I kept trying to think "ugly sweaters," "pilgrim dog costumes" or "disturbingly short manpants," but all I could muster was "Thanksgiving dinner...mmmmwaaaa..." (just imagine Homer Simpson there.) So here you go. Turkeys. Delicious, delicious turkeys. Although, I think the birds on this page might prove to be a little dry and stringy. 

A knitting turkey... there are things in this world you never think you'll find, and yet, there they are. 

A feast sure to disappoint! Oh, don't get me wrong, it's nicely done, but stuffing made from cotton batting just pales in comparison to that made of cornbread.

This is... kind of bothersome. It's like a butcher's window, but not... because butcher shops don't really have that slight serial killer vibe that I'm picking up here. Also, "the table is set in due time," seems kind of creepy. You know, kind of "it puts the lotion on its skin..."  I mean, sure, fake raw poultry hanging from the ceiling doesn't necessarily mean that you're crafting a rage filled manifesto against the poultry industry or plotting the downfall of Butterball, but I'm guessing that if this is everyday decor, the neighbors will get their say on the nightly news eventually.  

"He always kept to himself." 
"He was a pretty quiet guy... kind of a loner."
"Say they found fifty turkeys stuffed in his freezer, boxes of dressing strewn all over the place, gravy in the bathtub. Was screaming like a loon when they brought him out 'Save the neck for me, Clark! Save the neck for me'! Yep, you never think it'll happen in your town."

"Ma, I think the bird's gone bad. Unless of course you picked up a peacock this year instead of the usual fare."

 Chicken fingers, meet turkey fingers. 

The pigs don't stand a chance! Seriously, Angry Birds anyone? I'd love to see what a powerhouse this little butterball might be. I like to think his special ability might be something like dropping dressing bombs or like leftovers, he shows up again after you've run out of birds to take care of that one stupid pig that just. keeps. mocking. you.

 We've seen this lady before, and wow... she's kicked it up a notch. I believe her platter is the offering I featured last Thanksgiving. Sadly, I'm too lazy to click the link and make sure. In any case, it's a new shot, and one of these is new, and yeah, there still just as weird. I will say that I bet she's warm.

And here's Jr. He's obviously not as excited about his themed headgear as mom is. Of course, the daily swirly at school has a tendency to curb his enthusiasm.

"Save the neck for me, Clark."

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