Thursday, October 27, 2011

And Now Things Get Weird...

OK, so this post isn't really Halloween related, but when I ran across this vintage pattern for this lady and her dog in matching, crochet outfits, I couldn't say no. I. Just. Couldn't. Say. No. So, you'll have to forgive the lack of pumpkins or spiderwebs or other haunted material, but really, admit it, this is pretty scary. Just look at her eyes. That smile, it just doesn't reach them. She knows we're laughing, laughing at her, at her dog, at Ripples patterns... and she doesn't like it, not one bit...

"I dare you to judge me you uncultured plebeian! You might be happy with life of Nascar t-shirts and acid-washed denims, but not me! No, not me. I'm classy! Just look at me, at my pearls and my flippy hair, and my sweet widdle Filbert. My Filbert loves his mother and his matching sweater. And his mummy wuvs him! So you just go, you take your Frito eating arrogance, and GO!"

This is not normal. If dogs were meant to be slung over a shoulder, God would have made them with handles and a zipper compartment. Instead, he made them with legs, four of them, two more than you have, dog holder. It's pretty obvious they were made for walking. Also, isn't that kind of a large dog to be haulin' around? I mean, I know Paris Hilton carries her pooch in a purse, but it's roughly the size of an underfed sewer rat. This guy, he's got to be a good 15lbs. Do yourself and the dignity of your pet a favor and put the dog on the ground.

Unfortunately, this picture does not contain a dog in crochet. What it does contain is a big bag of WTF. I have no idea what's happening here. I probably don't want to. I'm hoping this is for some kind of stage production. I say that because of the white tape arrow on the ground and the fact that they're in some kind of hall with those auditorium style double doors. Still, what in name of sweet baby Jane are they performing that requires that outfit? Also, why is Sacha Baron Cohen making faces through that guy's legs in the first picture? 

 This guy is like the ying to the other guy's yang. "I see your barely there body suit and raise you an entire Alpaca's worth of crochet!" Or whatever. What exactly is this? It's like every left sock in the world that's ever been lost in the dryer suddenly reappeared and came together to form this... thing... and now, it's slowly absorbing this poor human man, and somewhere along the lines, it looks like maybe an octopus got involved. Oh well, at least guy sure seems happy about it.

 Again, no dog, but it is an animal of sorts. It's a knitted rabbit. It's kind of odd, sure, but it's probably been tossed around by a dog a few times, right? What's so weird about that? Well...

The thing is, it's kind of a gigantic knit rabbit, and I doubt Clifford's been by to play. Those things on its belly, those are people. People. Created in 2005 by a Viennese art group called Gelatin, it is 200 feet long and it can be found on Colletto Fava mountain in northern Italy. It took five years to knit. Yeah, five years, and it's supposed to stay where it is for the next 20. It's big, it's pink, it doesn't seem to be powered by Energizer, and it's weird.

And finally, because I feel like I owed ya. Here's something Halloween related that falls into the category of both weird and crochet/knit. I give you  Ellen, a crochet and knit UFO (Unfinished Object and also, UFO...) along with Natalie, a Crochetlien, attendees of the annual Stitch 'n Bitch Halloween party way back in 2007.  Keep on workin' it ladies Halloween 2011 is coming on quick.

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