Friday, August 5, 2011

^ Shark Week! ^

Shark Week... one of the few times a year I really miss having cable TV. I'm especially missing it this time because Andy Samberg is hosting the whole week long event! However, I'm not going to let the fact that I can't afford basic cable discourage me from my love of deep water predators... and knitting. What? Oh, yeah, that's right. You didn't think there were sharks out there in sweaterland? Well there are... lots of them. No one is safe.

"Beaches Closed - No Swimming. By the Order of the Amity PD!"

*Cue Jaws music*

" ...This shark, swallow you whole..."

"Back home we got a taxidermy man. He gonna have a heart attack when he see what I brung him."

"I got the creme de la creme. Right here. Hold on. Yeah, you see that?"

"You're wearing a sweater!"

"...But sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'."

"My husband tells me you're in sharks."

"I don't think that's funny. I don't think that's funny at all, I'm sorry."

"This was no boat accident."
"That's some bad hat, Harry."

"Ya know, I'm gonna stuff your friggin' head in there, man, and find out if it's a man-eater, all right?"

"He didn't eat a car, did he?"

"Naw, a tiger shark's like a garbage can, it'll eat anything. Someone probably threw that in a river."

Yes, Discovery Channel, I miss you and your entertaining and sometimes terror inducing programming. I don't know if this post is funny or just lazy, but it's Shark Week, and the most famous shark of them all, JAWS! So, for now, I leave you, all you fair Spanish ladies, and everyone else...
"Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain. For we've received orders for to sail back to Boston. And so nevermore shall we see you again."

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