Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Out Of Control Turtlenecks!

It's finally autumn. The air is crisp, the leaves are changing, and everyone's breaking out the cold weather gear. One staple of which is, the turtleneck. Now, a turtleneck is a versatile  piece of clothing; it can be dressed up or down as the occasion demands. Elegant or casual, you can't go wrong with a simple turtleneck.


  I said simple! Geeze...nobody listens to me.

"Hey fella, you got a little something on your ne... Oh, it's part of the sweater? Right, sorry. Hey...did you make it from one of those pot holder kits we used to play with when we were kids? No? Oh, it's designer? Dolce & Gabbana? Really? Do they have one of those pot holder kits?"

WHY? WHY, would you kill a harmless Domo for fashion? WHY? Shame on you Mason Martin Magiela!

Where is PETA when you need them?


I feel like she's hiding something terrible under there.  Like, if I was to unbutton that cigarette-like tower covering her face, I'd see something terrifying, like this:

 or this:
 or this
 God bless you Steve and your horrible teeth.

Now, not every turtleneck tragedy comes from the turtleneck itself. No...sometimes it's more of a 'user error.'

 celebrity workout

Speaking of errors, here's this total douche "celebrity," Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino of Jersey Shore. Before he became a (sighs to self to have to use this term) star, he was just a normal guy, hanging out with the fam...taking some pictures. Mike, welcome to your awkward family photo...


CODE BLUE, CODE BLUE (and white and grey) we've got an overdose on ribbed turtlenecks here! Everyone stay calm! STAY CALM! We've got (say it with me!) THE SITUATION under control! (Well...maybe not. I think someone needs to invest in a Bro.) But yeah, wow. That's just...that's just a whole lot of turtleneck for one family. Remember Situation kids, you can have too much of a good thing...or well, too much of a thing.

No comments: